


And Then Some

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 19:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: “I, uh, I had the day off,” Carisi offered, even though Barba hadn’t asked. “Figured I’d—” He broke off, trying to figure out what to say, because with the way Barba was looking at him, he couldn’t tell if he should be honest or not. “See the sights,” he finished, somewhat lamely.Barba blinked. “The sights,” he repeated, slightly incredulous. “Of Bridgeport, Connecticut.”Carisi shrugged. “Yeah, well, y’know, I’d seen most of the ones in Manhattan.”“Uh-huh,” Barba said skeptically, before shaking his head and busying himself with the box in front of him. “Well, I hope the sights of Bridgeport — such as they are — were worth the two hour train trip.”“Two hours and then some,” Carisi muttered darkly.





	And Then Some

**Author's Note:**

> For the anon on tumblr who requested "some heartfelt and hot first kiss/first time after years of pining" and, well, kind of.
> 
> My apologies to the good people of Bridgeport, CT, which I'm sure is a lovely town and also boasts the distinction of not actually having an Applebees, TGI Friday's _or_ Bennigans within its boundaries.
> 
> Which is more than pretty much any suburb of Chicago can say.
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

It took two trains and over two hours, but finally, just when he was considering getting off and heading back to the city, Carisi arrived in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

It wasn’t exactly high on his list of places he intended on visiting...well, pretty much at any point in his life.

But it was the location of the Fairfield County State’s Attorney’s office.

And as such, was where he was very hoping to finally run into someone for the first time in longer than he cared to think about.

Liv had promised to keep him apprised of where Barba landed after quitting the DA’s office, but whether purposefully or otherwise, she hadn’t done so. Which meant that it was up to Carisi to figure it out.

Luckily, the task was made significantly easier for him when Carmen put in her two weeks notice with Stone’s office. Because thankfully, she had left the address for her new place of employment.

And while Carisi wasn’t much of a gambler, he’d bet every bit of his pension that there was only one person who would make Carmen take a job in Connecticut.

The entire way to Connecticut, Carisi had thought about this moment, about what he would say or do, but now that he was standing here staring up at the unimposing six-story building — 1 Hogan Place, the Fairfield County Court building absolutely was not — he was beginning to think that this was a huge mistake.

Maybe he really should just go back to the city.

Or at least find a bar and drown himself in cheap whiskey.

But for better or for worse, the decision was made for him when, right as he was about to turn and leave, a familiar voice called, “Det. Carisi?”

Carisi turned as Carmen approached, a cup of coffee in each hand. “Hey,” he said, trying to sound casual, like him standing here in Connecticut wasn’t completely bizarre.

“I thought that was you,” Carmen said as she drew even with him. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, of course,” Carisi said, his brow furrowing. “Why?”

Carmen arched an eyebrow at him. “Because you’re in Connecticut. Assumedly voluntarily.”

Carisi tried to smile, though he was pretty sure it was more like a grimace. “Yeah, well…” He trailed off, not sure what explanation to offer.

Luckily, he didn’t need to, since Carmen offered him a gentle smile. “Here to see Mr. Barba?” she asked.

Carisi huffed a laugh. “That obvious, huh?”

“I mean, I’d gladly pretend that it’s for just my company, but I think neither you nor I would buy that.” Carmen’s grin sharpened just slightly. “Besides, I’m just glad that your detective skills paid off and you got the little clue that I left you.”

“You left your new work address for me?” Carisi asked, surprised.

Carmen shrugged and jerked her head toward the side door of the building, and Carisi fell into step beside her. “I’d pretend that it’s for Stone to forward any correspondence, but again, neither you nor I would buy that. Especially since he seemed to take it personally that I left.”

Carisi glanced sideways at her. “And I assume it wasn’t?”

“Well, I can’t pretend that I didn’t enjoy putting in my two weeks notice, but…” She shook her head. “Truth is, I’d’ve gone wherever Barba ended up. Including, apparently, Connecticut.”

“Yeah?” Carisi asked.

“Yeah. He’s always been really great to me, from the very beginning. And being a woman of color in this industry…” She shook her head. “He gets it a hell of a lot more than a straight white man does, at least.” She glanced at Carisi. “No offense.”

“Nothing there to take offense to,” Carisi told her, reaching out to open the door for her. “Though I can’t imagine your wife is too happy about the commute.”

Carmen shrugged. “She’s taken it better than I expected, honestly. It helps that we live somewhat close to Grand Central, and even with the hour-and-a-half commute, I still make it home earlier than I did working for New York County.”

“What, has Connecticut somehow turned Barba into less of a workaholic?” Carisi asked. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was kidding or not, but he really couldn’t picture Barba as anything other than the kind of person who stayed in the office until ass o’clock at night.

Carmen just shrugged. “Well, his caseload here isn’t quite what it was in Manhattan,” she said, hitting the button for the elevator with her elbow. “Besides…” She hesitated. “I don’t think his heart’s in it the way it used to be.”

For some reason, that touched Carisi more than anything else had, and something of what he was feeling must have flashed across his face because Carmen hurried to add, “But he’s getting better. He’s prosecuting a spate of low level mob crimes, so if he lays into the Italian jokes, don’t take it personally.”

Carisi figured that his kneejerk reaction of just being glad Barba was joking around again probably would reveal more than he cared to, so he settled for chuckling and assuring Carmen, “I never have in the past.”

Carmen smiled at that, though her smile faltered slightly as they approached what must have been Barba’s office. “Listen, I know he’ll be happy to see you, but maybe I should—”

“Oh, yeah, definitely, that’s a, uh, a good idea,” Carisi said hurriedly, his smile turning strained.

Had it gotten suddenly several degrees warmer, or were his palms sweating for some other reason?

Carmen gave him a reassuring smile before nudging Barba’s door open with her hip. “I have something for you,” she announced, and Carisi trailed in slowly after her, lingering in Barba’s doorway.

He didn’t even see the man himself at first because the office — smaller than Barba’s former office, not that Carisi was judging it on that alone — was practically full of stacked boxes mostly, judging by the few that were open, full of law books.

Which made sense, Carisi realized with a pang. Because Barba undoubtedly wasn’t as familiar with Connecticut law as he had been with New York law.

Barba appeared from behind one of those stacks of boxes looking slightly tired but otherwise his usual, well-dressed self. Carisi was gratified to see that the brightly-colored ties were making a reappearance, as today’s sharp chartreuse could attest. “My coffee?” Barba asked, with an edge of desperation that Carisi recognized as the sounds of a man who had gone a whole hour without a caffeine fix.

He was glad to see some things never changed.

Carmen laughed and handed over the cup, which Barba took and sniffed with a look of pure ecstasy. “My hero,” he sighed before taking a sip. When she didn’t immediately vacate his office, Barba raised an eyebrow at her. “Was there something else you needed?”

“Well, actually…”

She stepped aside and Carisi took a full step into Barba’s office, offering him a tentative smile. “Hey.”

Barba choked on his sip of coffee. “Carisi?” he spluttered.

Carmen cleared her throat. “I’ll, um, leave you to it.”

Barba was still staring at Carisi as if he’d seen a ghost, and Carisi could feel himself blush. “I, uh, I had the day off,” he offered, even though Barba hadn’t asked. “Figured I’d—” He broke off, trying to figure out what to say, because with the way Barba was looking at him, he couldn’t tell if he should be honest or not. “See the sights,” he finished, somewhat lamely.

Barba blinked. “The sights,” he repeated, slightly incredulous. “Of Bridgeport, Connecticut.”

Carisi shrugged. “Yeah, well, y’know, I’d seen most of the ones in Manhattan.”

“Uh-huh,” Barba said skeptically, before shaking his head and busying himself with the box in front of him. “Well, I hope the sights of Bridgeport — such as they are — were worth the two hour train trip.”

“Two hours and then some,” Carisi muttered darkly. “I have no idea how you manage this every day. You do know that most people live in the suburbs and commute to the city, not the other way around, right?”

Barba gave him a dirty look. “Don’t remind me,” he said with a sigh. “I’m probably going to have to move out here just for the sake of my blood pressure.”

“Yeah?” Carisi asked, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. “You gonna move out to the suburbs, buy a house with a yard, get a dog—“

“Get married?” Barba finished for him with a small half-smile. “Well. I’ve thought about it.” He cleared his throat and looked down at the box of law books in front of him as if he couldn’t seem to look at Carisi. “If the right guy decided to move out to the suburbs as well, at least.”

Carisi tried to keep his expression neutral, though he couldn’t quite stop his own smile. “What, you don’t think you could find the right guy out here?”

“I think the chances of that are fairly slim, Detective.”

There were a hundred things that Carisi could say to that, but all his usual retorts seemed to die on his tongue.

He had expected this, had expected and anticipated their usual banter, falling so easily back into the tread they had worn together all those years. But now, standing here, looking at Barba surrounded by half-unpacked boxes, he didn’t want that.

He didn’t want the familiar.

He didn’t want them going backwards.

He hadn’t come here to reestablish what they had had, what he maybe should’ve acted on years ago.

He came here because he was tired of pretending that he didn’t want more.

“I could, you know.”

Barba blinked up at him, holding a law book as if he had forgotten why he had picked it up. “Could what?”

“Move here.”

Barba stared at him. “What?”

“I could move here,” Carisi repeated, and when Barba’s expression didn’t change, he swallowed and quickly added, “If, uh, if you thought I was the right guy, at least.”

“Carisi…” Barba trailed off, shaking his head just slightly, and he set the law book back down in the box he had taken it from. “What the hell would you do in Connecticut, of all places?”

Carisi shrugged, perching on the little piece of Barba’s desk that wasn’t covered in half-unpacked boxes. “Well, you know, I’ve got that law degree that’s just gathering dust.”

“Nice thought, but you don’t qualify under Connecticut Bar Association reciprocity rules—”

“Then I can always be a cop,” Carisi continued doggedly. “They’ve still got police in Connecticut, right?”

Instead of answering, Barba just shook his head again before taking a deep breath and looking back at Carisi. “You do realize we haven’t even been on a date yet. Haven’t kissed, haven’t—” He broke off, a slight pink tinge rising in his cheeks. “You can’t decide to move to an entirely different state for someone you’re not even dating.”

“Ok,” Carisi said. “Then we can date.”

Barba rolled his eyes. “Oh, sure,” he scoffed. “You going to make the two hour train trip so we can grab dinner at the Applebees? A drink at Bennigans?”

“I don’t think you’re being fair to the nightlife here in Bridgeport,” Carisi said calmly. “But honestly, if it meant getting to spend time with you, yeah. Though I think TGI Friday’s has the better drinks deal. Especially since I don’t think there are Bennigans left in this part of the world.”

“This isn’t a joke, Detective,” Barba snapped, and despite himself, Carisi grinned.

“There it is,” he said, standing up, putting his hands in his pockets and slowly crossing to Barba. “That’s what I was waiting for.”

“What?” Barba asked, scowling. “For me to yell at you? You have a masochistic streak that I should know about?”

Carisi shook his head. “Not really,” he said off-handedly. “But I was waiting for a little bit of that spark of passion.” Barba rolled his eyes but Carisi didn’t let him interrupt. “You know, that thing that I first fell in love with.”

Barba’s eyes snapped up to his. “Don’t — _don’t_ say that.”

“Say what?”

“You know what!” Barba drew a hand across his face. “Again, we have never gone on a date, never slept together, never kissed, never done _any_ of the things that normally precede saying love in just about any context!”

“We may not have been on a traditional date, sure, but we’ve probably spent more time together over the past few years than most couples in a relationship,” Carisi pointed out, taking another step towards Barba. “And as for the rest of it, well...luckily we can do something about one of those at least.”

Barba arched an eyebrow at him. “Oh yeah?”

Instead of answering, Carisi closed the space between them, cupping Barba’s cheek in one hand as the other fell to grip his hip. He searched Barba’s eyes for a moment, looking for any sign of hesitation, before he finally leaned in and kissed him.

His intent had been to leave the kiss at little more than a light peck, a sort of ‘so there’ to Barba’s argument, but then Barba grabbed his tie and tugged him closer, his mouth opening against Carisi’s.

And what could Carisi do but reciprocate?

He cradled Barba’s face with both hands as if the touch was the only thing rooting him to that moment. Barba’s hands skimmed up his sides, and he caught Carisi’s resulting gasp in his mouth.

Wordlessly, Barba pushed Carisi backwards, matching him step for step as they kissed hungrily while somehow navigating the maze of boxes. Then, without warning, the back of Carisi’s legs hit Barba’s desk and he broke away just slightly, trying and not quite succeeding in catching his breath. “So that was, uh…”

“Carisi,” Barba murmured, leaning in once more, “shut up.”

Carisi’s eyes darkened.

He may not have much of a masochistic streak, but he sure did seem to have a sudden thing for following orders.

He grabbed Barba’s hips and spun them so that Barba’s back was to his desk, and as if following Carisi’s train of thought, Barba perched on the edge of his desk, his legs falling open in far more welcome an invitation than Carisi had dared to hope for.

However, before he could even close the space between them again, Barba planted a hand on his chest, keeping him at arm's length. “You know, there’s one other thing that we can do something about.”

Carisi blinked. “What?” he asked distractedly, and when Barba just smirked at him, he finally put the pieces together. “Here?” he squawked, a half-octave higher than usual. “Seriously? In your office?”

“I’m distinctly less concerned about my reputation these days, Detective. And besides, it’d be nice to have something in this office that I can look back on…” He trailed off, his eyes flashing to Carisi’s lips before back up to meet his eyes. “Fondly.”

Carisi groaned low in his throat, stepping forward to slot himself between Barba’s legs. “This is a terrible idea,” he told him, even as he bent to kiss him once more. “I mean, Christ, do you have a condom? Lube?”

“I used to keep an emergency stash in my office in One Hogan Place,” Barba admitted with a breathy laugh as Carisi trailed kisses along his jawline. “Just in case I magically wound up with a date. I’m sure they’re here somewhere.”

“In one of these boxes?” Barba nodded, his head tipping back as Carisi nipped lightly at the taut skin of his neck. “And I don’t suppose you remember which one.”

Barba glanced around his office as if just realized how many boxes there were. “Oh Jesus,” he muttered. “God, I really need to unpack.”

Carisi snorted and kissed him lightly. “But maybe not right now.”

“Well, if you want this to happen—”

It was Carisi’s turn to plant a hand on Barba’s chest, holding him in place. “There are other things we can do,” he said, his voice low. “Things that don’t need lube, or condoms.”

Barba wetted his lips in a move that Carisi tracked with his eyes. “Well,” he murmured, drawing Carisi close again. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

Carisi kissed him instead of answering, figuring he’d let his fingers do the talking for him. He pushed Barba’s suit jacket off his shoulders, letting it pool behind him on the desk and then moved to fumble with the buttons of his waistcoat.

Barba laughed lightly, resting his fingers lightly on top of Carisi’s. “I’ve got those,” he said lowly. “Why don’t you…”

He trailed off but Carisi didn’t hesitate, ripping his own suit jacket off and flinging it on top of a nearby stack of boxes. He had shucked his shirt in record time, so quickly that Barba was just shrugging out of his waistcoat when he was done.

“Eager, are you?” Barba asked with a grin far too soft to be as teasing as he undoubtedly intended.

“Well I do have a train to catch at some point,” Carisi said, stepping back in between Barba’s legs and slowly smoothing his hands up Barba’s thighs. “So we can’t take _all_ day.”

Carisi captured Barba’s retort with his lips, his hands reaching Barba’s hips, and he gripped them for a moment before moving to his waistband. He popped the button of Barba’s slacks with one hand, and gripped Barba’s zipper, pausing for the briefest moment to acknowledge that this was actually _happening_.

Then, in a slow, hopefully seductive move, he tugged at the zipper of Barba’s fly.

Then tugged harder.

Then practically yanked at the damned thing.

Ok, maybe this wasn’t actually happening.

“Problem?” Barba whispered in his ear, and Carisi shook his head, pressing a distracted kiss to his shoulder.

“Sorry, it’s the zipper.” He gritted his teeth and tugged harder. “It just — won’t — open.”

Barba winced. “Stop, stop,” he ordered, and while Carisi immediately held his hands up, he also rolled his eyes.

“I wasn’t gonna tear it or something,” he said impatiently, but Barba shook his head.

“No, that that,” he said, pulling his arm across his chest and rubbing his elbow, still wincing. “I hit my elbow on something.”

For a moment, they both just stared at each other. Then Carisi let out a light laugh and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Barba’s. “This might be a sign,” he admitted.

Barba laughed as well, reaching up to rest a hand on the back of Carisi’s head, running his fingers through the fine hairs on his neck in a way that sent shivers down Carisi’s spine. “So this won’t be one thing we can do something about.”

“Not right here or right now,” Carisi told him honestly.

Barba groaned. “But is it ever going to happen?” he asked somewhat ruefully, more to himself than to Carisi.

Carisi reached out to tilt Barba’s chin up. “Yes,” he said emphatically, giving him a long, slow kiss that left both of them breathless. “If I have anything to say about it, anyway.”

Barba’s eyes searched his for a moment before he nodded. “Ok,” he said simply.

Carisi kissed him once more before reluctantly stepping away in search of his shirt from wherever he had flung it. “What’d you hit your elbow on, anyway?” he asked, starting to button his shirt and realized halfway through that he had apparently lost a button at some point.

Barba made a face and reached behind him, pulling out a large plaque. He looked it over, his expression falling. “Oh, nothing,” he said, moving as if to throw the plaque into a box but Carisi intercepted it.

“The New York State Bar Association Outstanding Prosecutor Award?” he read out loud, looking at Barba incredulously. “When the hell did you win this?”

Barba waved a dismissive hand. “After the whole Terrence Reynolds thing,” he muttered. “Obviously before, well, everything else.” He managed a small, twisted smile. “I’m surprised they didn’t revoke it later.”

Carisi looked between one of the most prestigious awards that the NYSBA gave out, and Barba, and he slowly shook his head. “Barba, what the hell are you doing here? Is this honest to God what you want to be doing?”

For a moment, it looked like Barba might snap at that, but then he took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what I want to do anymore. And maybe this isn’t the right place or the right job, but this is the only thing I know how to do. So for right now, until I figure the rest out, that has to be good enough.” He took another deep breath, his expression turning suddenly neutral, the way it did when he was trying to hide what he was really feeling. “And I can understand if that changes things for you. You took a train for two hours—”

“And then some,” Carisi interrupted gently, trying to get Barba to smile.

It didn’t work. “—for someone who honestly may not exist anymore.”

Carisi shook his head slowly as he tightened his tie. “He does,” he said with all the confidence he had. “You haven’t changed, Raf. The only way you could is if you stopped doing this, stopped fighting for justice. On whatever stage, however big or small — as long as you’re still doing this, you’re still the man I fell in love with.”

“You really need to stop saying that,” Barba muttered before glancing at Carisi and asking carefully, “And still someone you’d consider moving out to the suburbs for?”

Carisi hesitated. “It’s not you that could change my mind on that,” he said honestly. “There’s just a lotta other things to think about. Leaving the squad, my family—”

“I get it,” Barba said quietly, looking away, but Carisi just shook his head again as he barreled forward.

“But what I do know is this.” Barba’s eyes snapped back up to his. “The thought of getting back on that train and leaving you here — I sure as hell don’t want to do that.”

Barba didn’t hesitate, standing and crossing to Carisi and pulling him into a kiss. Carisi was happy to kiss him back and was just about to make another go of Barba’s zipper when Barba abruptly stopped. “Not to test your resolution so soon, but I have a meeting in a half hour.”

“We could do an awful lot in a half hour.”

Barba rolled his eyes. “A meeting I have to prep for.”

“We could do an awful lot in ten minutes?” When Barba just gave him a look, Carisi sighed. “Fine. I did come up here to see the sights, after all.”

Barba snorted. “Have fun with that.” He paused, a hand resting lightly on Carisi’s chest. “Were you serious about wanting to date? Because I happen to be free this weekend.”

Carisi grinned. “Absolutely. Want me to make reservations at TGI Fridays?”

Barba gave him a look. “You realize I still live in the city. I think we can find a place in Manhattan.” He smiled slightly. “Forlini’s, for old time’s sake?”

“No.” Barba looked startled and Carisi shook his head. “Someplace new. Someplace that can be ours.”

Barba’s expression softened. “That sounds like a great idea,” he said. “Pick a place, text me the details.”

“You trust me to pick a place?”

“I trust you with a lot more than that.”

Carisi couldn’t quite stop his goofy grin. “Geez, Counselor,” he said, “you sure know how to make a boy blush.”

Barba rolled his eyes. “Hilarious,” he said dryly. “Don’t make me take it back.” He looked at Carisi for a long moment. “Thank you, Sonny. It’ll be nice to have something to look forward to.” Carisi’s grin softened and he ducked his head slightly. Barba ruined the moment by adding, “Especially if you put out on the first date.”

“Christ, Barba,” Carisi huffed, but he was laughing. “You kiss your ma with that mouth?”

“Yes, but I’d so much rather kiss you.”

Carisi grinned. “That can be arranged,” he said, tugging Barba to him and kissing him once more.

Barba let him for a moment before again pushing him away. “Ok, now I really do need to get work done.”

“Fine,” Carisi sighed, kissing Barba’s forehead. “But I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“It’s a date.”

Carisi grinned and turned to go, though he paused at the doorway. “Just so you know, it was absolutely worth it.”

Barba glanced up at him. “What was?”

“The two-hour train trip.”

A slow grin crossed Barba’s face. “Two hours and then some,” he corrected.

“Yeah,” Carisi said. “Totally worth it. And then some.”


End file.
